The Story Behind Guilty
Some emotions don’t belong to us.
They were handed to us by someone else.
That was the thought that stayed with me while writing Guilty.
For many people who have lived through emotional abuse, manipulation, neglect, or controlling relationships, guilt becomes a constant companion. You begin apologising for things that were never your fault. You question your own worth. You carry responsibility for arguments you didn’t start, pain you didn’t cause, and expectations you could never meet.
Over time, that guilt stops feeling like something you’re carrying.
It starts feeling like who you are.
This poem also comes from my own experience.
For many years, I was told I would never make anything of my life. I was told I should have been in a mental institution or dead. I was made to believe I was never good enough, never clever enough, and that I simply didn’t have what it took.
I was different.
I have dyslexia.
Instead of that difference being understood, it was often used against me. I absorbed those words until they became part of how I saw myself.
The greatest lie wasn’t what people said about me.
It was that I eventually believed them.
It wasn’t until I found myself in a positive, supportive environment that I began to understand the prejudice, jealousy, and falsehoods I had been fed. I realised those beliefs had never been a reflection of my worth. They had been used to make other people feel better about themselves.
Despite everything, I not only survived…
I thrived.
The turning point in the poem comes with the realisation that the weight being carried was never mine to begin with.
Sometimes healing doesn’t begin with forgiving someone else.
Sometimes it begins with putting down a burden you should never have been asked to carry.
Guilty isn’t about finding a perfect ending. It’s about recognising the difference between guilt and shame, and understanding that surviving difficult experiences is never something to apologise for.
If this poem speaks to you, I hope it reminds you of one simple truth:
Not every burden you carry belongs to you.
Thank you for reading
Your DislexicPoet 🖤