Some memories don’t stay with us because of what happened.
They stay because of one small detail.
For me, it was a white spot on the wall.
The Invisible Spot on the Wall came from a real memory from my childhood, when I lived in a place of neglect and trauma. My only escape was to shut down. I would focus on the white spot in the corner of the ceiling until everything else disappeared.
I would stare at it for what felt like hours, never noticing time passing. It was only when someone shook me that I came back into the room.
People often imagine trauma as remembering everything.
Sometimes it’s the opposite.
Your mind narrows its focus until only one thing remains. A sound. A smell. A shadow. A crack in the ceiling. A white spot on the wall.
Everything else begins to disappear.
The poem follows the body’s response to fear rather than describing the violence itself. A racing heart. The feeling of becoming smaller. Watching someone else’s rage build until it seems too big to stay inside them. The tightening of the jaw. The raised hand. Then, finally, the moment where the world seems to switch off.
The ending isn’t about the room becoming dark.
It’s about the mind protecting itself.
When we experience overwhelming fear, our brains don’t always store memories like a film. They often hold onto fragments instead. Those fragments can remain vivid long after the rest has faded.
For many years, that white spot stayed with me.
Not because it was important.
Because my mind made it important.
Writing this poem wasn’t about reliving the past. It was about understanding how memory works and acknowledging the remarkable ways our minds protect us when we have no other way to protect ourselves.
I’ve spent years healing through therapy and through writing. Today, I can look back at that memory without being overwhelmed by it.
That white spot no longer holds me captive.
Today, it reminds me not only of what I survived, but of how determined the human mind is to keep us alive. Even in our darkest moments.
Thank you for reading
Your DislexicPoet 🖤
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